Coming and Going

Vivian's first trip to the dentist - she said "When do we get to come back?"

Our trip to see Great Grandma Pauline - You can tell someone LOVES his Great G'ma!

Vivian's Christmas Program at her School - they all did a wonderful job!

Logan got to meet Mrs. Claus - he wanted nothing to do with Santa!

As the end of the year approaches and all the hope that Christmas promises, we have to make time to be thankful for all our many blessings this year. What a wonderful year we have had and oh how busy we have been. We are leaving shortly - 2 hours for Florida (in a Ford Focus). Oh yes, we are driving. Now we are hoping that leaving at night makes it easier for the children at least that is the goal - if it is not - we're just all going to be miserable! We did buy a DVD player to occupy the children. When I was a kid I remember playing all sorts of silly games to keep us occupied and well mostly I slept...curious! Well now kids have it made - maybe that is why people aren't as creative as they used to be - we're all plugged in couch potatoes that can't stand silence. I suppose I should speak for myself. I play the TV nearly all day - not for the children but for myself. I get lonely, I can't stand the silence and I just need some noise. We also play the radio a lot which ALWAYS ends in a dance session. We move the table out of the kitchen and then we have the whole room and Vivian has noticed that at night time she can see her reflection on the sliding glass door - something I used to do to practice my ballet ALL the time. One of Logan's first words was dance and he is quite good for such a little guy. Vivian puts on shows for me and wears all kinds of costumes - sometimes we have to do quick changes in the middle of a show - it cracks me up. I always wondered how I just grew to love dance so much, but after watching my children I now believe you are just born with.

We have been so busy with trips this year: Annapolis - MD, Chicago - IL, Palm Coast - FL, Rockport - IN, Grafton - OH, Scotland - UK, and I feel like I am forgetting a dozen more trips. We've had loads of people visit which is always so exciting. Funny how sometimes you think life gets boring and then you review your year and think how did we pack all that in a year? I am hopeful to having another year packed full of fun - my kids sure make my life a joy and my husband keeps me laughing. I am so blessed and I wish you all a blessed New Year!

Merry Christmas!

News and Stuff

So when I write news I think everyone thinks we're having another baby, which is not the case...breath! BUT I am having my veins fixed in my legs - can I get an AMEN! Come on ladies...AMEN! Oh the pain in my legs will be gone and the embarassment factor will be a thing of the past (you know like glow in the dark braceletts and pegging your jeans)! Ahhh...speaking of the late 80's...I am having my 20 year high school reunion next year - that is so wild to me. I mean I know I am getting older, but NOT THAT OLD! Wow! Oh the big hair days - just think how much time we wasted making our hair stand 4 fingers high from our scalp. If we would have known those photos would make everyone laugh someday would we have still done it?!? On other big news (no Mom I am Not having a baby) I made an apple crisp. Yes, for all of you baking type Moms your thinking that is the easiest thing in the world to make and I know that now, but I looked at them with thier crumbly top and yummy gooiness and thought I could never make anything that good. Ah hah - I was ever so wrong, but who knew it took sooo many darn apples! LOL. I am a decent cook - I make a nice meal for my family every night, but you know how things start to feel like they just repeat, like groundhog day over and over - well here is a new place to find some yummy recipes www.thecooksnextdoor.wordpress.com
Hope you like it, it seems like it will be a real help and right now they are having a giveaway, we all like FREE stuff!
Kids - Well Vivian is such a joy and just comes away with the best things. Tonight for her bedtime prayer she said God bless all the children of the world and give them all jammies to wear - wouldn't that be nice! Logan has found his screaming voice and learned that he can climb which means he climbs on every bit of furniture we own and then screams when I take him down. He is the most cuddly little baby I have ever known! They are sweet with eachother every now and again - oh how I love those times!
Fraser - his hours are better at work and he has been home most nights, but tonight is a late one. He will be tired when he comes home. He is meant to come home early tomorrow since he has put in so many hours - we'll see how that goes. He has been doing reformers and of course is in perfect shape, I am so lucky! Too bad he has to look at cottage cheese legs...lol! I am the one that carried two babies right?!?
Me - well I am going insane, tired of looking at these tired old saggy legs so I am getting a workout program that is called of all things - Insanity. I wish I could tell you more about it, but apparently you do this workout and eat certain foods and by the end of it you have a 6 pack! Ha ha...well that is what happened with all the people on the infomercial. I would be happy with small curd cottage cheese - hahaaaaaaa!

Time for bed -
God bless all the children of the world and may they all have jammies!

Emotions a la Mode

This Summer has been an emotional roller coaster; the highs, the lows and the unexpected outburst. Well we have had a very exciting Summer with a trip to Scotland, many wonderful guests including Mom Mom and Big Pappy, the family from Florida and Mom's friend Ellie. The kids and I went on a wonderful trip to Annapolis where I was able to see three of my very dear friends - Megan, Erin (Tissy) and Emily. It was so wonderful to see my friends, how I wish I could be nearer so we could just grab a cuppa and catch up. We also went to Chicago this past weekend for a short but sweet visit with Tissy. We went to Navy Pier and rode the Ferris wheel; unknowingly, I gained a fear of heights and a weak stomach for things like that over the years.


I also found out that several of my friends are expecting babies and that is always exciting, so gals happy pregnancy, delivery and may your newborn be a good sleeper! I realized the other day that I am one year younger than I thought - I don't know how this happens - when your a kid you know that your 7.5 and 2 days old, but when your an adult you can loose a whole year! So I realized that I am 37 going on 38 in December and well I am still young! You know maybe we should have another. Maybe it won't be so hard the 3rd time around. Maybe the child will be a good sleeper and I won't have to wait till the baby is one for a full nights sleep. Maybe my body can handle it without preeclampsia or my veins bursting open in my legs. Maybe maybe maybe...oh I want a baby again! I am sure the feeling will fade Mom don't worry! LOL!



This feeling is compounded by the choice to wean Logan. This was a process all it's own. you see I wanted to wean him, like his sister, at one year. So I tried giving him milk which then came back up in the stinky mess you could imagine from warm curdled milk - makes my stomach still turn. I finally had his one year checkup and expressed this concern with milk to the doctor. Apparently, Logan has a milk allergy and his eczema on his face was a physical sign of this - who knew. He is now happy as can be, totally weaned and drinking 20 oz. of soy milk a day. This comes with great joy and sadness all at the same time. I have been pregnant or nursing since the end of 2005 less September and October of 2007. So I was kind of over it to be very honest, BUT when you actually stop you do go through this odd withdrawal thing. I gave him the best milk I could and I did it for over a year - I should be proud, but as the milk still leaks I think maybe I should have given him more. The bottle restricts my view of his gorgeous face before his nap or bedtime. Its the little things - he used to rub me, pat me and pull away just to give me a smile. That is all gone. That may be the last I nurse a baby - forever! That is sad to me.



On the other hand I was able to leave for the whole day which prompted the said emotional outburst. My Grandmother (and when I say that word I mean the GRAND part of it) fell and broke her hip, she had to have surgery and is in a very painful stint of rehabilitation. So I have been terribly worried about her. I am a caregiver by nature - I want to take care of people, I want to make them better and I want to make them laugh! Of course I want to be with G'ma but the reality of taking 2 kids to see someone in terrible pain reminds you that you just can not be with her. So anting to be there and not being able to is a very sad thing. Then my Mother was going through some very scary testing which compounded the wanting to be someplace else factor. These women are the rocks of my existence and I want to see that they are well. So finally Fraser and I worked it out that I would go last Saturday to be with my G'ma and my Mother (whose results came back in the best way they could - though she still will have some pain). I got in the car and about 20 miles into my journey I began to cry. At first for my Rocks - the pillars to models of my life and then for me. You - you ask? Yes, selfishly me! I had not been alone for years now. Always caring for a child, no breaks, and never a full day! I cried so hard, it was liberating. I sang in the car as loud as I could and off key too, but I did not care! I smiled as I past people, I laughed at the little boy making faces out his window, I was never in too much of a hurry to be a cordial driver, I cried because I found myself again. I am still Stephanie, yes, I am Stephanie the Mom and wife, but I am also Stephanie the silly gal that my husband fell in love with, the dancer, the girl who always wanted to look just so, the energetic person with a jest for life, always a smile, always a hug - that's me. In those 7 hours I drove that day I released myself again. I will always be a Mom (and I might add I am pretty damn good at it), but am also STEPHANIE! Don't loose yourself in your kids - be you, be silly, laugh at yourself, smile at someone, call your friends (or Skype), really make your husband remember why he loves you and lastly take pride in YOU not just your family! Well I gotta go now - I'm going to put on some make up today!

Hair, boobs and skin oh my...

Yes, I said it. Hair, Boobs and Skin Oh My. Seriously, why doesn't anyone tell you about the "side effects" of breastfeeding. Don't get me wrong it is still a WONDERFUL experience, but it would have been nice to know that my hair would begin to fall out, break and go REALLY grey because of it. Also, uhhhh the girls are going through a lot these days - I mean stretched, pulled, punched, compressed and the breastfeed smell. Those mommies that have experienced it know what I mean - it is the sort of off milk smell with sweat combined. I guess it is hormonal, but geez, I already feel like the girls are not part of my female body anymore and now the smell makes me wish at times they were not! The skin problems are crazy. Combination skin my behind - this is like freeze dried in some areas and pools of olive oil in others. AND I even have the dreaded eyebrow zit that will NOT go away. Like a volcano hiding, just waiting for the right moment to explode - bubbling over. YUCK!

The kids posing!

Fraser racing and winning a mountain bike race. Unreal and not really very good for my mental health...haha. I mean here I am with puke on my shoulder day in and out and here he is no training and wins this race. My fat is sagging and hanging from places it really should not and here comes Mr. Fit with his rock hard legs and bottom (oh yea I can say butt here). Anyway, I really am quite proud of my hubby. It does does make me ever so slightly sick that he's so perfectly in shape and my body looks like it has been food processed. Well enough drama I suppose...later friends!